Thoughts on Aging
By Susan Thaxton
Left to right: Forrest, Susan and Roy
The wise sage, Bette Davis, once informed us that, “Growing old is not for sissies.”
But… what exactly does it mean to be old? Is it based on the year you were born? Is it based on the number of wrinkles on your face? Or is it based on the way you think? Perhaps it’s different for each of us.
The day I heard that 50 is the new 30, I adopted it as my own! And boy did I start to feel younger!
In my real-life thirties, I worked in a luxurious retirement community as a consulting dietitian. The ages of the residents ranged from 55 to 107. Now here’s something to think about. The 107 year old once told me that she was ashamed of her age because, as she put it, “I just haven’t done enough with my life.” I have to admit that her comment is more meaningful to me now than it was when I was in my thirties.
My current career has re-introduced me to an aging population. And it has opened my eyes, in a new way, to what it means to get old.
This brings me to asking a question or two. Have you thought about what will happen to you when you get older – say when you turn 75 or 80 or even 85? Where will you live? Who will take care of you? How will you pay for your care? Or, who will pay for your care?
Those of you with aging parents may already be thinking about the answers to these questions. Perhaps your parents can no longer live on their own. It could be due to health problems, physical limitations, mild memory loss or severe dementia.
And… unless you’ve decided to become their caregivers, you may have been thrust into the role of hunting for senior housing. Which means you may find yourself wading through the many options to find something that will fit their needs, fit their budget and give you peace of mind.
There’s nothing like dealing with a crisis to help you prepare for your own future!
Know your housing options
Whether you are considering senior housing for an aging family member or thinking ahead to your own future, it may help to know your options.
Senior housing comes in several flavors and currently includes:
- Staying at home and getting in-home care.
- Moving in with a family member.
- Buying into a retirement community.
- Renting a suite in a month-to-month senior community – which could include, independent living, assisted living and/or memory care.
- Living in a small residential care home.
- Renting subsidized housing with limited services (for those who qualify)
- Living in a senior apartment complex where services vary.
Who pays?
Choosing where you want to live will depend on what you can afford. So let’s take a look at some long term care payment options to determine how you can pay for what you want or need:
Personal finances
- These include savings, retirement accounts (401K, IRA, pensions, annuities), investments (stocks, bonds, mutual funds, etc.), proceeds from the sale of your home. You get the idea.
- Contributions from family or friends.
- And of course, your income streams, which could include Social Security.
Long Term Care (LTC) Insurance
LTC insurance can be set up to cover a broad spectrum of needs. Be sure you clearly understand what the policy will cover. Will it cover you only if you are cared for in your home or will it also cover you if you decide to move into a senior living community? If so, what types of communities will it cover? And what services?
Find out if your policy can follow you if you move to another state.
Veterans benefits
A little known benefit, Aid and Attendance, is available for veterans and surviving spouses. It provides additional income to help with aging-related assistance. There are specific qualifiers, including income and assets, but if you qualify, you could receive between $800 and $2500 extra each month. To find out more, visit www.heritagefinancialnorth.com/veterans.html
Reverse Mortgages – only as a last resort
These have been publicized on various commercials and seem like a good thing but as with all good things, it’s important to do your homework. They can be expensive and currently only apply if you continue to live in your home. If you decide you want to move to an assisted living community, a reverse mortgage would not cover the costs.
Reverse mortgages are not all bad and there are success stories. Just be sure it’s a good fit for your situation.
If you are thinking of a reverse mortgage, talk with someone who can give you balanced advice. The non-profit agency, HIP Housing, offers counseling for Home Equity Conversions including reverse mortgages. Learn more at www.hiphousing.org/programs/conversion.html
Medicare and Medi-Cal:
Many people are under the impression that Medicare and/or Medi-Cal will cover the costs of senior living. The answer is complex but, in general, they both cover some aspects of Skilled Nursing Facilities but do not currently cover the general needs of senior housing. Plus you need to meet qualifying criteria before you can receive payments from Uncle Sam.
The bottom line
As with most things in life, one of the keys to aging well is to prepare. Even though you may be a long way from needing care, it’s never too early to begin to think about where you will live, who will take care of you and how you will pay for it. In other words, what will you need when you retire from the playful years of retirement?
And tell your family what you are thinking. It will help save them the anxiety of trying to figure it out for you when the time comes.
Some final thoughts
While I continue to believe that 50 is the new 30… while I strive to stay fit, to eat right, to meditate and, in general, to hold off the aging process as long as I can, I also have an eye towards the future. When I am 100 and thinking to myself that, “100 is the new 80”, I will be watching the sunset from my balcony in a posh assisted living community in the wine country. I will dine with my peers and the meal will be cooked by the resident chef. I will toast to my future and know that I have done enough with my life.
Care to join me?
Susan is a Family Advisor for Senior Seasons. She has the privilege of assisting and supporting families in their search for senior housing.
If you need help sorting through the confusion of senior housing or if you have questions, feel free to contact her. There is never a charge to seniors or their families for these services.
To learn more about how Senior Seasons can help, visit them at www.seniorseasons.com.
Susan can be reached at: susan@seniorseasons.com or by calling her at 650-571-7362.
This entry was posted on Sunday, July 25th, 2010 at 3:14 pm.
